Bijotoyaju: Beauty and the Beast
by Kichigai sunayasha
Summary: A Gaara and Kichigai story that pertains to the storyline of Naruto. R&R please.
1. Once Hands Touch

"_W__hat's wrong, sweetie, you don't feel like eating?" Ameno looked at her daughter, who was picking at her Domiburi in a boring matter. _

"_I just don't feel hungry right now…" she mumbled, her pale cheek resting on her hand. _

_They sat in silence for a moment as she resumed picking up a slice of tonkatsu and dropping it once more._

"_You want to go play with Gaara, don't you?" _

"_Yes," she looked up at her, brushing a strand of crimson hair out of her field of sight, sitting up, removing her elbow from the table. _

"_Alright, I'll put it in the…" Kichigai stood up quickly, hugging her, and ran off out of the dining room and into the living room-"Fridge…" she sighed, smiling, "that girl…"_

_Kichigai grabbed her messenger bag from the armchair by the window and, opening the door, ran out happily. _

Kichigai walked down the dirt roads of Sunagakure, her hair just barely shifted by the wind. The sun was just beginning to set and it cast an orange glow over the village. Bloody red stars spotted the sky like pavement at a crime scene. It somewhat soothed her.

_Kichigai knocked on the door, waiting for it to be answered, when it creaked open. Gaara peered around the door when suddenly, Kichigai tackled him in a tight hug.  
"Gaara-sama!" she cried out happily. _

_Gaara was startled for a moment, then relaxed a bit, returning the hug._

She adjusted the khaki messenger bag that was nestled into where her shoulder became her neck, just above her collar bone. The streets were about empty, except for a few sand martins flying overhead, and the occasional person on their way home. There weren't many people.

"_Good, not many people out tonight. No cold, worthless people…" _she thought as she approached the familiar house a few blocks away from her own.

She adjusted her shirt, running her long, thin, pianist's fingers through her long hair, then knocked on the door.

After a moment, she heard the locks click, and the door creak open.

"_I missed you, Gaara-sama! I always miss you when we're not together!" she happily replied to his questioning, playful gaze. _

_Kichigai could always read his eyes. It was a special gift she had, reading eyes._

"_I missed you, too, Kichigai," he smiled slightly. _

_Ever since Yashamaru died, Gaara had never seemed the same. He now had a symbolic kanji above his left eye, marked "Love". Kichigai gave it no thought, simply saying it had "a special meaning". _

_He also had a colder attitude, except around Kichigai. His siblings never lingered when they were around, instead going to their rooms and locking the door, leaving Gaara and Kichigai to themselves. _

Temari opened the door, smiling her usual smile whenever Kichigai came over.

"Hey, Kichigai."

"Hello, Temari."  
"Gaara's upstairs in his room. I'm sure you know where it is."

"Yes," she nodded and walked down the corridor, into the hallway that the stairs were in. Upon reaching the top, she counted the doors until she reached five on the left. She knocked first. Gaara liked it when people knocked first. And if they didn't, he just wouldn't unlock the door.

"Who is it?" he called darkly, the fact that he was glaring at the door obvious in his tone.

"It's me, Gaara-sama," she returned, and almost immediately, the locks clicked, and the door opened.

She met the familiar green eyes she came to know so well, smiling quietly. He took her hand, bringing her into his room.

Kichigai glanced around at the room. She hadn't been in there for so long, since the two years she spent away from him in Konoha. Now, it was all different. The queen-sized bed had been moved to rest in the corner, covered by white sheets and a black comforter. The walls were a sand-colored tan, a few pictures here and there, scattered among the four walls. His closet led into the wall, the double door a ceiling to floor mirror. A hope chest, with a heavy iron handle bolted to the chestnut finish, sat at the foot of the bed, filled with things Kichigai had no clue about. A black rug sat in front of it and a black-finish dresser with a television sat against the wall.

"You've redecorated."

He nodded, then picked up a marker off the nightstand, walking to the mirror that Kichigai took notice to that it was covered in Kanji and drawings, in erasable marker, a rag strewn onto the bed for wiping it off.

She walked up behind him, resting her head in the crook of his neck, watching him draw on the mirror contentedly.

"It's beautiful…" she muttered, blinking slowly, almost sleepily, out of character for her.

He made a small noise, almost in thanks, or in agreement as Kichigai's hands slipped up his arms to his shoulders, resting her chin on one.

Gaara clicked the cap onto the marker and placed it on the nightstand. His hand met Kichigai's on the opposing shoulder, and they stood like that for a moment, their silhouettes intertwined as the sun set over Sunagakure, leaving an almost blood red glow in the room through the now crimson curtained window.


	2. Uncontrollable

A few minutes later, he broke the silence, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

"Is there someone you need to get home to?"

"Nobody. My cousins are away."

He turned slightly towards her, a small smile creeping across his lips.

"Well then," he muttered, turning towards her, his hands traveling down her sides, stopping at where her ribs were able to be felt, slightly below her breasts, pulling her close to him, "I can't see the reason why you can't stay the night."

"I don't either," she said quietly. "Like the sleep-over's we would have when we were younger; back when Ameno was alive."

He nodded silently, his thumb stroking her sides lovingly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Come, you must be uncomfortable dressed like that," he said quietly, taking the hem of her shirt and lifting it up over her head, pulling it off and setting it on the table, leaving her in a white tank top and her navy blue gauchos, "I don't see why you dress that way, do you want to impress someone?"

"Nobody in particular," she smiled curiously, her eyes gleaming slightly.

Despite her hair in her face, her Hikarigan would still shine from time to time.

The Hikarigan, to be controlled, required a blocking of a certain amount of light of one of the eyes. Kichigai's hair parted to the right, covering her eye just enough so she could keep it under control.

"Good to know you're not controlled by other's standards."

"Well, I'll always care what you think, Gaara-sama," her arms resumed position around his neck.

"Why?"

"Because, you're my _Aruji_, Gaara-sama, you take precedence over me-"

"I fail to believe you see me as your lord-"

"I still believe you are in higher ranks than me," she finished the argument with that, a small smile playing across her lips.

"How could you think that?"

"Because I just do, _Shu_ Gaara-sama," she lifted her arm that was draped across his shoulder and encouraged him to look at her with her hand.

Once more, they sat in silence, staring into each other's eyes.

In a moment, Gaara pulled her to stand in front of him, taking her hand as if they were dancing, then placing his hand on her hip, looking closely into her eyes.

Then, he let go.

"Doushite, Gaara-sama?"

"I don 't dance."

She sighed slightly, smiling quietly, almost secretly, as his usually cold expression returned. He felt, almost, ashamed that he wouldn't, or moreover, couldn't, dance with her. He knew she took ballroom dancing lessons, and she never got to dance with anybody but the stoic instructor.

Her eyes saddened a bit, and he took her hand, stroking it with his thumb.

"I still love you though," he said quietly.

Kichigai's eyes regained it's familiar glow as she muttered slightly, "I love you too, Gaara-sama."

"Gaara? Come down here," they heard Temari yell up from the stairs.

"What does _she_ want?" He growled, letting go of Kichigai's hand and unlocking the door, throwing it open, and walking to the stairs, "What?"

Temari scowled slightly, "Gaara, what are you and Kichigai doing up in your room alone?"

"What's it to you?"

"I'm your older sister, and I want to know."

"We're just talking."  
"You can talk downstairs."

"You bi-"

"Actually," Kichigai came up behind him, "I think you need to get out of your room, Gaara-sama. You spend too much time in there."

He looked from Temari to Kichigai, who was looking at him with soft, concerned eyes.

"_Yeah, listen to her instead of me," _Temari muttered angrily under her breath as they walked downstairs.

She watched as they passed and Gaara reached out for Kichigai's hand, flinching, thinking Gaara would hurt her. Instead he took her hand, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

Temari sighed in relief quietly, then came to realization.  
"Gaara, what are you doing?"

"I'm holding her hand, what does it look like?" He mumbled an incomprehensible curse under his breath.

"Since when-…Since when did you two start liking each other?" she questioned.

Kankuro walked in from the kitchen, his mouth half-full with barbeque flavored chips, raising an eyebrow, "Since when did you start liking each other?"

"I fail to see how it matters to either of you."

"It matters because we're your siblings, Gaara, and we're older than you."

"Age doesn't matter, it's how you use your power-"

"Gaara, don't act like you're superior to us because you-"

"You fools-"

"-Have greater power than us."

"So you admit it."

Kichigai felt Gaara's grip tighten on her wrist.

"_Do they always fight so much?" _Kichigai thought worriedly.

"Come on, Gaara-sama," she said, "You need to get out of the house for awhile."

She tugged on his hand, leading him towards the door.

"I'm sorry, Kichigai, but Gaara isn't going anywhere."  
"You can't tell me what to do," he glared coldly at her.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

He formed a hand seal and sand surrounded them, then the pair faded away.


	3. Beautiful

_Disclaimer-I don't own Naruto, or Gaara-sama, but if I did, he never would've been sad, upset or lonely! _

* * *

"What's this?" Gaara muttered as he opened the bottom draw of her mother's dresser.

"No, don't open that-" Kichigai reached out to Gaara in vain as he discovered Ameno's lingere drawer.

Kichigai's face went beet red as she sighed. "You had to open it didn't you?"

The words fell on deaf ears as Gaara reached in and took out a black lacy bra with a matching skirt. He held them up in front of himself, as if debating on something. He then handed them to Kichigai with a stern look on his face, his voice slightly more commanding.

"Here." He simply stated, giving her a look of indifference.

Kichigai tilted her head slightly, looking at him. "What do I do with them?" Her voice was a cautious one.

"They're clothes...they go on your body Kichigai."

"...I knew that."

"I want to see what they look like on you." Gaara turned away as Kichigai took the clothes. "Go."

Conversation over, Kichigai's face turning deeper and deeper a shade of red as she put them on. She turned in the mirror, standing on her tip-toes, looking at herself. She was shorter than Gaara by few inches, but was always self-aware of how she looked. It wasn't obbsessivley so that she did this, but because she always wanted to look nice for him, and only him. She came out a few minutes later, the black contrasting visually with her pale skin.

"Gaara-sama?..." She approached him in a very shy way, her hand balled into a fist against her chest, her other hidden away, shaken.

Having turned from his spot on the floor, his eyes moving up and down her body- slowly, silently, and he stood up, taking her in his arms. Kichigai felt a panging through her as if worry, but tried to brush it off.

"I think you look beautiful..." Gaara half muttered, half growling in her ear.

Kichigai knew what that meant.

She also knew that Gaara wasn't the only one who thought that she looked beautiful as well.

"It's a shame though," Gaara looked thoughtful, tracing a finger down her back, making her shiver. "You won't be wearing it for much longer..." A smirk crossed his features.


	4. Fear and Love

Gaara's black nails tucked a strand of bloody red hair behind Kichigai's heavily pierced ear, smirking at her innocent, child-like gaze.

_'You think she's red now?'_Gaara heard the voice- he always heard it- followed by dark chuckling. _'You just wait...'_

Gaara's hand slipped ever so slowly to Kichigai's thigh, lifting the pale leg up enough so that her inner thigh rubbed against his erect member, barely felt beneath his clothes. Kichigai emitted a small gasp from her lips, eyes closed shut. She knew what they were going to do, and she knew it was going to hurt. At times like this, it would usually hurt. Gaara smirked darkly at the sound of her so called "pleasure", while his free hand found way to her other leg and wrapped around his waist. Holding her up with one hand, he undid his pants and let them drop to his ankles, kicking them off without so much as a struggle. He then discarded his shirt as well, making Kichigai's face turn several shades of red as he pressed up to the thin fabric of her panties, Feeling opposing fabric getting wetter by the second, Gaara got impatient with himself quickly, silently cursing. He remembered what happened last time- the first time.

_The scent of blood lingered in the air above them; sweat made their crimson hair stick to their necks and foreheads. Legs intertwined, Gaara muttered Kichigai's name in a shuddering breath, looking at her. Kichigai opened her mouth to say something, but clenched her teeth in pain as she tried to shift her body slightly to look up at him- the pain in her lower body and sensitivity in her abdomen was too much for her to utter even a single word._

_"Kichigai, we should get you to a doctor-" Gaara started to state seriously._

_"And tell them what Gaara-sama? An orphaned little __twelve-year old had her first time?" She groaned out hurriedly._

_"You're in pain-"_

_"There are painkillers in my beside table, those'll be fine." _

_Gaara sighed, gaining control once more, noticing that, at that moment, her head was on his shoulder and she was trembling._

"Be gentle this time okay?" Kichigai muttered shakily, gripping onto his bare back, frightened, scared, to be hurt again.

Gaara lied Kichigai on the bed, looking her over. Still in the lingerie, her hands were folded over chest closely, her eyes closed, anticipating almost. He picked her up, feeling her unconsciously react to it. She kept her eyes closed until she heard running water. Opening her eyes, Kichigai saw Gaara set her down next to the in-ground bathtub. He undressed her and sat her in, taking the magnolia bubble bath and running it under the faucet.

* * *

Kichigai looked up at him, eyes half-lidded. She was slightly confused at first, wondering why she was she wasn't hurting.

"Gaara-sama? I thought you were going to- I don't understand..."

He put a finger to her lips gently. "You need to rest...It's only been four days Kichigai."

"I'll do whatever you want me to do Gaara-sama."

"Then I want you to rest."

"...Darn." Kichigai muttered.

The feral look in his eyes were not as fierce as it was once before, but he smiled at her genuinely, seeing her return the smile towards him, her eyes closing back. His hand rested on the top of her head then down to her check slowly. Gaara reached over and turned the water off, the fragrant smell of magnolias filling the steamy room as his fingers became intertwined with her hair, laced through, then detached from the locks, repeating. Kichigai relaxed as he repeated his methods, leaning ack against the padded ledge of the tub. The soft flowers floated through the water as both crimson-heads stayed silent through Kichigai's treatment.

Non-stop, she had been taking pain-killers to numb the pain for the past four days. Her abdomen was more sensitive than ever, so Gaara couldn't hug her tightly and had to be careful when he held her. Kichigai let out a contented sigh, feeling herself afloat in the water.

"How are you feeling Omae?"

"I'm okay..." She muttered slightly, feeling Gaara lean down and capture her lips in his with a soft kiss.

He took a bottle of mango-raspberry shampoo, pouring some in his hand and massaging it through her scalp, working it all through the long crimson locks. He smiled- Gaara loved treating his love this way.

"Gaara-sama, why are you spoiling me like this?" Kichigai pouted slightly.

"Well...it's because I love you, Omae."

"...Gaara-sama..." Kichigai started.

"Ah. No protesting." Gaara gave a soft smile.


	5. There's a First Time for Everything

Kichigai sighed under her breath. _"Why can't I be perfect? Why must I be so sensitive?...You know what? I'm done with this." _

Kichigai turned to face Gaara, placing her hands on the edge of the tub and pushing herself up to sit in front of him. "Gaara-sama?"

He looked a bit confused, raising a non-existent eyebrow, replying, "Yes, Omae?"

She placed two hands firmly on his shoulders, kissing him, her bare breasts just barely pushing against his chest. "Gaara-sama, let me be seme tonight."

"What?"

"You heard me!" she pushed him back to lie on the floor, sitting above him. "Last time I did nothing to contribute-"

"It was our first time-"

"But I want to be worth something to you! Even if it's only for sex. I want to be valuable to you," her eyes shined pleadingly.

Gaara looked slightly intrigued and shocked by her statement. He thought about it while looking at Kichigai- she just looked so optimistic…but Gaara could feel her slight insecurity.

"Please, Gaara-sama!" her eyes looked hungry now; anticipating.

"I-…Omae…" her gaze was so innocent, childlike, he couldn't say no. "Okay…" he leaned back on his hands as she smiled confidently.

Kichigai kissed him again, letting her lips brush past his cheek, down to his neck. She smiled against his pale skin, giggling quietly.

"_I can't believe it…I can finally be useful to Gaara-sama."_

Kichigai's hand slipped down his bare chest, her long, sharp nails gently tracing his abdomen, feeling it tighten beneath her fingertips. Her fingers stopped dead when she felt a thin fabric at the end of his torso- his boxers. Kichigai stopped kissing his neck for a second, blinking once slowly. She took a deep breath, her finger hooking into the waistband, tugging them down. She pulled away, looking down, eyes widening, cheeks flushing deeply.

Gaara smirked slightly as Kichigai viewed him from a new perspective. Kichigai let out a small breath, still red. She gave a tentative lick to him to start, trying to get a taste. It was surely awkward to her, but for Gaara, she would do her best. Giving another one, she let her eyes drift close. Gaara groaned softly in approval, striving to gain control of his aching need.

'_I wonder….' _Kichigai consciously pondered.

She gave a long lick from bottom to top, hearing the loud moan from him. She stopped for a second and found slight pride in herself, in which made her smirk a bit happily. She figured out the gist of what she should do from then on, but was still stuck. She sat there, looking at it in her hand, sort of how someone would examine something.

'_Do…Do I put in my mouth?'_ Now it was Kichigai's non-existent eyebrow to raise in question.

With no other option but to give it a shot, she opened her mouth slightly as she lowered her head and gave a small tug on him with her mouth. Gaara practically had to strain himself from shooting up straight and then shooting into Kichigai's mouth accidentally. Kichigai was unaware of Gaara's current state as she clumsily tried to take more of him in her mouth. It worked to some effect, but she couldn't after a certain point take any of him in. She tried to force herself to do so but she couldn't to any avail.

Kichigai struggled to let out a small whimper of dissatisfaction, just working her way to please her lover. Gaara intertwined his fingers with her hair, pulling her forward and down slightly. Kichigai went down, albeit slowly because of her gag reflex. Something warm came into her mouth suddenly, Gaara groaning her name softly, his hand spasming in her hair. She swallowed most of it, when she pulled away, only to have little spurt come out onto her cheek. Gaara sat up and looked at her, smirking slightly. Kichigai shyly lifted her hand to her cheek, wiping it off with her thumb slowly, then looking at it, cheeks flushing as she licked it off, her tongue tracing the outline of her thumb.

Kichigai looked up at her lover, blinking slowly, then crawling over Gaara, she pushed him to lay down and kissed him gently, then nestled into his neck.

Kichigai looked up at him shyly, hearing his soft breathing, her fingers caressing his flushed cheeks.

"Gaara-sama?"

"Hm?" he answered, staring up at the ceiling.

"I…" she paled slightly, "I did well, right?" she hesitantly asked.

He blinked once, then looked over at her, giving a slight smile.

"Yes, Omae, you did."

Kichigai bashfully hid her face in his neck, a wide grin spreading across her features.

'_I've finally proved my worth…maybe I'm actually worth something…' _


	6. Confessions and Shock

_Thank you guys so very much for the comments! I promise I'll do my best to keep the story interesting. _

Kichigai opened her eyes slowly, looking over at her love. His eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn't really asleep. He couldn't sleep. She smiled slightly, remembering last night, and she took his hand gently, intertwining her fingers with his, his hand turning over. She admired his pale skin, her eyes slowly moving down his arm. She caught her breath.

"Ga…Gaara-sama…?" she looked down at her own wrist, blinking back tears. "Gaara-sama…" she took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut, "Gaara-sama!"

He opened his eyes and looked over at her, his gaze questioning. "Yes?"

"Gaara-sama, what are these marks?"

"What marks-"

"On your wrist! What are they?"

Gaara sat up, pulling his wrist away. She glared at him, angry and hurt.

"Omae…" he sounded stern, yet concerned at the same time.

"Gaara-sama, how did you do this? I thought the sand would protect you!"

"I found a way around it, alright?"

"_But why?"_ she said through her teeth.

"It's complicated."

"Yeah, it's complicated, isn't it? So complicated you can't tell me so I can help you-!"

"And what about you, huh? I know you cut yourself too! I just didn't want to say anything about because I thought you would tell me about it eventually."

"Well, why haven't YOU told ME?"

"Because I don't want you to worry."

"Gaara-sama, of course I would worry," she gritted her teeth, "because I love you, Gaara-sama, of course I would worry. But no, you don't tell me anything do you? Just like when we were kids…"

"_Why _do I have to tell you anything?"

"Don't you love me?"

"You know I do, Omae."

"Then WHY don't you TELL ME ANYTHING?" tears formed at the corners of her eyes as she gripped his shoulders. "Gaara-sama I CAN'T LOSE YOU! I've lost my mother, my father, my sister…" she opened her mouth to talk once more, "…." Then, she fell back onto her butt, scooting back into the corner and pulling her knees to her chest, her elbows on her knees as she buried her face in her arms, her fingers intertwining with her hair, sobbing quietly.

Gaara looked highly confused.

Kichigai heard footsteps, and the door click as it was shut. She looked up, blinking slowly. Then, a small smile crept across her pale, trembling lips.

Gaara left the room, taking his clothes from one of her drawers, the clothes he always left if he slept over. He dressed, then got out some boy shorts and a bra for Kichigai. He opened the door once more to see a small pool of blood around Kichigai's arm, hanging from her side as the other was wrapped around her knees.

"Kichigai! Damn it all," he walked over, grabbing some toilet paper and pressing it to her wrist. She let out a small groan of pain, breathing hard as the soft substance was pressed to the new wounds. "Just hold still, Kichigai. I can't believe you'd go and do this, what is _wrong_ with you?"

Kichigai lifted her head, leaning it against the wall. She had a far-off look in her eyes, sighing heavily and raking her free hand through her hair, she muttered, "What isn't wrong with me?"

"Omae, I'm sorry I said that. There's nothing wrong with you, Kichigai, you're just a little stressed is all."

"Gaara-sama, don't lie to yourself," her voice changed, her Hikarigan shining quietly, a pale white. "Look at me, I cut, I have sex, I drink, I'm _twelve_."

"You were forced to grow up too soon."

"I wasn't forced for anything. I decided this on my own," her voice changed to a different one, one of a sixteen year old girl, her eyes changing to a sandy brown.

"No, you didn't, that's just your Halves talking."

"Heh, you finally figured it out."

"Tanuki, release Kichigai, now."

"Why should I? This is more fun than being a spirit locked in her body."

"Fine, you leave me no choice," Gaara glared, biting his thumb and drawing a five point star on Kichigai's neck in blood over her seal.

"Hehehe…Gaara, you're no fun…"

The voice faded away and Kichigai sat up strait, squeezing her eyes shut, then opened them again. They were back to sea foam green.

Kichigai looked over at him and smiled happily, her eyes closing. "Gaara-sama, I'm okay, you don't have to worry about me."

"I'll always worry about you, Oma-"

There was a knock on the door downstairs. Kichigai, startled, stood up.

"Kazeno, Mekura, they're back already…"

"Here," he handed her the undergarments and she put them on quickly.

She ran out of the bathroom and pulled on a black sundress, brushing her hair, then running downstairs and opening the front door.

"Hey, cuz, what's up?" Kazeno gave a toothy grin, his fangs showing.

Mekura nodded happily, her eyes closed. It's not like it mattered if her eyes were opened. She was blind.

"Hello, Kazeno, Mekura," she nodded.

Gaara came downstairs behind her, Kazeno peering around her shoulder.

"Why do you have someone over, Kichigai?"

"Because I wanted to, that's why."

"Kichigai, you know you can't have people over when we're not around!"

"Well, you weren't here to give me permission, and he's my only friend, you think you'd let me have him over."

Mekura sighed. "She's right, Kazeno-outou. She must get lonely when we're away."

"Fine…but it took FOREVER to get to Amegakure to-"

"Will you just get out of the way and let me see my daughter?" Kichigai heard a voice behind them.

"Dau…ghter?" she raised a non-existant eyebrow.

A man with bright orange hair shouldered his way past the tall sixteen year old and his seventeen year old sister. Then, his eyes lit up.

"Hello, Kichigai."

"Who are you?"

"He's your NEW DAD!" Kazeno yelled happily.

"New…dad?"

A blue haired woman walked up beside him, smiling happily.

"Hello, Musume."

Kazeno smiled. "Yep, they came all the way from Amegakure to meet you. This is Pein, and Konan. We're going to the Land of Rivers soon, too."

Kichigai backed away slowly, shaking her head no, then ran upstairs. Gaara turned, watching her.

"Omae?" he took off after her.


	7. Of Love and Drugs

Kichigai slammed the door behind her, pressing her body weight on it, in vain, as Gaara opened the door.

"Omae, are you alright?"

"Get them out of here! I don't want anybody in here!"

"I'm just as confused as you are in this."

"It doesn't matter because I'm not coming out."

"Oh, yes you are!" Kazeno shouted, walking down the hall and pushing the door open so hard, the doorknob busted a hole in the wall.

"Kazeno, you idiot, look what you did!"

"I don't care, Kichigai, you're acting like a child."

"I'm twelve."

"Ugh, I don't care! Kichigai, you are going to come downstairs and apologize right now!"

"Who are you, my father? No! Because he's dead."

"Kichigai, come downstairs. Now."

She glared coldly at him, then sighed. "Fine. Gaara-sama? I guess I'll see you later…"

He nodded, walking past them, as he did; his fingers lightly graced her hand, then he left.

"Happy now?" 

"Not until you at least say hello."

"Fine."

Kichigai followed her older cousin downstairs to be face to face with the opposing. She sighed under her breath, her eyebrows raising, then looking at them. Pein smiled quietly, his eyes inviting and kind.

"Hello…" she mumbled.

"What's wrong, dear?" Konan asked, smiling happily, her lips a pale shade of pink, and underneath, a silver stud laberet.

"I…uh…it's nothing, ma'am…'

"Darling, don't call me 'Ma'am', just call me mom, okay?"

"Yes…mum…"

"D'you hear the way she pronounces the word Mom, Konan?" Pein chuckled quietly.

Kichigai turned to leave when Kazeno grabbed her wrist. Kichigai let out a shriek of pain.

"What the-…?" Kazeno looked her wrist over. "Kichigai, what in God's name were you doing while we were gone?" he asked darkly.

"I accidentally cut myself with a letter opener."

He groaned loudly. "Kichigai, have you been _cutting yourself?"_

"No!"

Pein stepped in and pushed Kazeno away gently, taking Kichigai's wrist.

"These are razor marks…"

"No they aren't! Why should he believe you?"

"Because, your mother used to cut too."

"I don't care about whether Mum cut or not, cause I didn't!"

She turned and went upstairs. A moment later, a door slammed. Kazeno turned to them.

"I'm sorry for the way she's acting. Truly, she doesn't always act like this…well…she never acts like this. I guess she's just…a little…uhh…apprehensive-maybe? About this…"

"I understand. After all, she _is _Ameno's child, isn't she?"

Konan nodded, her hands folded behind her back. Pein sighed quietly, then smiled. "I'm sure she'll feel more at home with us once we get to the Akatsuki hideout."

"Yeah. When are we leaving?"

"In the morning."

"Alright, I'll go get Kichigai to tell him goodbye."

"Tell who?" Konan looked interested.

"Kichigai's only friend in this village. His name is Gaara."

"Gaara, hm? What a charming name. But it's sad though, a child like her I would think had more friends."

"No. None to speak of. I'll be right back…" Kazeno excused himself and went upstairs, knocking on the door. "Kichigai?...Kichi-chan? Come on, come out. At least open the door."

Kichigai cracked the door. "What?"

"Go tell Gaara goodbye."

"Why?" her cold gaze was broken instantly, her eyes softening to the point of tears, "Why?"

"Because, we're going somewhere tomarrow."

"I don't want to say goodby-"

"Do you want to leave without telling him so?"

"I-…no, sir…" she walked past him, grabbing her shoes from the front of her door, and walking downstairs to the first floor, pulling them on and walking outside. The sky was, once again, an orange overcast with bloody red stars, and the newfound moon. She walked to his house, knocking on the door. Gaara opened it and she ran in, hugging him tightly.

"Gaara-sama!"

"Omae, what's wrong?"

"I-I…I…I'm sorry!" she sobbed into his shoulder. "I didn't mean it! I never wanted to start cutting! I just started and-and couldn't stop! Now God is punishing me by taking me away from you! I'm-I'm-It's my fault!"

"Who's taking you away? Omae, calm down, tell me," he held her shoulders and looked her in the eye.

Her head was hanging low, eyes red and puffy, shining with tears. She was hyperventilating slightly, her lips parted to take in air. He sat her down on the couch.

"Tell me what the matter is."

An hour later, Kazeno knocked on the door. He waited, but nobody came, so he tried to open it. It opened easily and he walked in, seeing Kichigai sitting on Gaara's lap, his shirt discarded on the floor, Kichigai's dress unbuttoned on the first three buttons. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, her shoulders moving up and down with each sob. She looked up when she heard footsteps.

"Kazeno! I-I…I…" she began, but he just grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the house. "Gaara-sama! No! Don't let him take me, Gaara-sama! Please!" she grabbed at the doorway, but he pried her fingers away.

"Kichigai, I can't believe what I just saw."

"It's not his fault-"

"I can't believe that you have a boyfriend and have YET to tell either of us about it!" he growled.

"Kazeno, just shut up, I can't think right now."

"_Gaara-sama!" _

_Kichigai began to unbutton his shirt, getting frustrated and just pulling it off. _

"_Gaara-sama, please, before he comes, just take me, let me know I'm real! I can't stand this numbness anymore! They're coming to take me away, from you, my lord, Gaara-sama."_

_She kissed his neck, her hand holding his jaw still to keep him from responding, from giving him the wrong answer. _

"_I just want to be loved…"_

"_Omae, do you think the only reason I love you is because of sex?"_

"_It wouldn't matter! It's still love!"_

"_That isn't, but this is," he kissed her gently. _

"_Gaara-sama, it isn't enough!"_

"_Yes it is, Kichigai, look at me." _

_He looked her in the eye. "I'll love you forever. Nobody's going to take you away from me, do you hear?"_

_She nodded slowly, then faster, then shook her head no. "No, Gaara-sama! My cousin! He's going to make me leave! I want to stay! I just found you again, I can't lose you again!"_

"_Omae, calm down. Kichigai…Kichigai!"_

"Kichigai!"

"H-h-huh?"

"WHAT were you two doing?"

"He just got done taking a shower, and his shirt was off when he answered the door. I was a little upset so he didn't bother; he just let me cry into his shoulder."

"I…ugh…fine…don't let me EVER catch you doing something wrong, you got that?"

"Yessir."

"Come on, we're going to have tea at home."

"Okay."

They got back home and Kazeno walked Mekura over to the sectional that everyone was sitting at in the foyer, sitting her down beside Pein and Konan and Kichigai sat down next to Mekura, her eyes low, wiping them discreetly.

Kazeno brought out the tea, handing a cup to Pein, then Konan. But when Mekura reached for one, Kazeno took one for her, placing it in her hand.

"Here, Kichigai, I put this one in your special tea cup," he handed it to her.

"Thank you…" she mumbled, then drank some.

"Kichigai, you're going to love the land of rivers. There is a large one near our house. The boys love to swim in it during summer. I suppose you wouldn't know how to swim, living in the desert and all, but-"

"We have oasis here, thank you," she said, a bit proudly.

"Oh, well I suppose there's always that. Thank you for correcting me, sweetie," Konan's forefinger and thumb found their way under Kichigai's chin, smiling joyfully. "Look, such a pretty face…"

"Thank you ma-…Mum…" she said, taking another sip.

Kichigai let out a small yawn, then rubbed her eyes.

"Excuse me, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight."

She bowed and went upstairs at the staircase located in the front of the pearly white foyer.

The next morning, Kazeno went into her room, seeing that she was asleep, even at twelve in the afternoon.

"Good, the drug worked…I hate having to do this to her…" he picked her up and brought her downstairs.


	8. Validations for Existance

Mekura walked into Kichigai's room, knowing that at 5:00 a.m., she was awake. Kichigai was looking over a picture of Gaara delicately, one that she had snuck with her. Kazeno objected to it, knowing her, she would probably do something drastic over it, but all she wanted was to look at it, and know that it was real.

"Y'know, it's not easy for me either," Mekura said softly, sitting down on the side of her bed. Her Seeing Eye puppet-dog, Inume, jumped up next to her. "Leaving Kankuro behind and all…"

"Yeah, you guys aren't in love…" she growled.

"Who's to say? I just know I really like him. Then again," she giggled quietly, "who's to say you and Gaara are in love either?"

"He's to say! He told me he loved me. So I love him."

"You only love him because he loves you?"

"No. I've always loved him. I've just never realized it."

"So what _you're_ saying is that you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, I do! But Pein won't let me stay in Sunagakure."

"But was it really worth overdosing on your pills and laying here to die last week?"

"It was completely worth it, Mekura," she looked at her with a calm face, "without Gaara-sama, I have no meaning. He's my Tono, my Shishou, he's my all and everything. To put it simply, without him, _I want to die_."

"Don't say that Kichigai!" her hand moved to her heart.

"I speak the truth and only the truth."

Mekura sighed, looking at Kichigai pitiably. "Who would ever want to die?"

"That would be I."

"Kichigai, please, don't say that! That's a horrible thing! And you know, if you commit suicide, you go to Hell."

"Of course. I was the one who gave most attention while we studied Kirisuto Kyo. I believe that Kami is my Lord. Gaara-sama is just my master on Earth," her face was calm, as if she did not just suggest she wanted to commit suicide.

"Then you should believe that if He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it."

"I believe that."

"How so?"

"I believe that one day, I'll meet something too great for me and I'll slowly succumb to death, simplified."

"Kichigai, I hope you know I'm telling Zein-sama."

"I hope you know you were always the snitch. Go off and tell someone all your troubles, and leave me here to die."

"Kichigai, you're really making me angry right now," her Amegakure accent started to get a little bit thicker, angered.

"I won't once I'm dead. Nobody will remember me," her eyes widened, then a smile spread across her face. "Yes, nobody will remember me; it will be as if I never existed. Isn't death a beautiful thing, Mekura? The release from humanly troubles, like a reachable Nirvana. No more tears, no more sorrow, no more pain…yes, truly a beautiful thing…" she got up and walked over to the window, staring out over the river. "And everyone who knew you would mourn. Unless, you were wicked. They would celebrate. And the Righteous Judgement from Kami himself. '_Have you sinned?' _is what he would ask. Only a fool would say, _'No, I am as your son, I am the perfect being.'_ Love is not proud, Mekura, and the Lord does not respect those who are. But even so, I wonder what people would say once they reached Heaven. Would they lie through their teeth? Saying simply, _'I have not sinned. I am your perfect follower. I serve only you, my Lord.'_ Yes, what a stupid thing, am I correct? No, and you are humble. You would of course answer, _'Yes, my Lord Kami. I am a sinner. I beg your forgiveness…'"_

Mekura watched her through Inume's eyes as she stared out of the window out onto the landscape, almost mesmerized by a simple twelve year old's words.

"Then again, I'm not quite sure what I would say. Look at me, Mekura," she turned to her, "Aren't I not the perfect child? As they have been saying for so long. _'My, she's so precious!', 'Isn't she just talented? I mean, she's only twelve!' 'I hear she won the country wide piano competition, what a little genius!'"_ she giggled quietly. "No, though. I am not perfect. I am not pretty. I am a simple, plain, red-headed girl, who only wishes for the peace and quiet of a sleeping eternity. Kami, of course, brings us to challenges that we, as humans, must face. If we can't make it, he helps us, if we can, we better from the experience. I feel…" her voice softened, childlike, "That Kami is testing me, everyday, to my fullest extent…sometimes it's a little too much for me…"

Tears came to Mekura's lavender eyes, dripping down her pale cheeks as Kichigai turned to her, smiling.

"That's why…" her voice trembled, "Great Kami sent me Gaara-sama. He sent him to me to give me hope, which my life was not over yet; I had a ways to go. Then you and Kazeno brought Pein and Konan to me. They took me away from a miracle I had so long needed. That's why I must not give in to their deceiving eyes. I need to stay strong and singled for Gaara-sama alone."

"Kichigai…is that really how you feel?"

Kichigai nodded, still smiling in despair.

"I miss my Gaara-sama, Mekura. I can't live without him. He's my lifeline, the only thing that kept me alive. Now I'm numb. I can't feel anything right now. No heartbeat, no pain, just…numb…Mekura, why can't I be alive? Why can't I feel like a normal human?"

"Because you're not normal, Kichigai, you're extraordinary."

Kichigai picked up a shiny silver object, just out of Mekura's view.

"I want to feel again. I want to be alive. I want to _feel _alive."

"Well, you can always visit your Gaara, you know."

"Visiting isn't good enough, Mekura," a small slicing noise rang through the air, crimson life dripping on the hardwood floor. "I need to always be with him."

The scent of blood filled the air. Kichigai's eyes gazed out the window, her hand moving across her wrist, slash after slash, bringing her closer to her Nirvana, if even for a moment.

"Mekura, I never want to die. I never wanted to die. I need to feel pain to validate my existence. But, when the time comes, Kami will take me, and he will ask me, _'Have you sinned?' _I would of course respond, 'Yes, my Lord.' But would it be good enough? Even now, he's watching me validate my existence, my blood spilling for the sake of feelings. Would I explain my sins, excuse my actions, and plead forgiveness? Or would pride overcome and I would lie and say, 'I have never sinned'?"

Kichigai turned to her and smiled her charming, lonely smile once again. Her eyes were closed, her pearly white teeth showing.

"I don't suppose that would work, Mekura, considering I'm explaining my actions now. He hears me, and He knows me. But He can't understand me. I'm not defying my God, of course not. I'm just stating that he has always been the ruler of the heavens and the earth, he has not felt pain. I just want him to know…" a tear streaked down her ghostly white cheek, "that I pray, and I pray, and nothing is working."

Mekura wiped away a few of her tears from the corners of her black rimmed eyes, watching Kichigai look at her wrist.

"Nothing but this…"

"Kichigai, what did you do to your wrist?"

"I was proving to myself that I was alive…"


	9. Lovesick

Kichigai looked over at the stitches on her wrist showing through the bandages, sighing quietly. She pushed herself up to sit, then pressed her hands together in prayer.

"Oh, Kami…" she mumbled. "Where should I begin? I can't go on living this way, anymore. I cut myself deep this time, I'm sure you saw. And I'm separated from your miracle, Gaara-sama. I'm not sure what to do anymore…please, you've been so good to me, giving me Gaara-sama back, and I just want to please you. But I can't do that if I'm dead. So allow me to live long enough to satisfy you. And please, look after Gaara-sama? Amen."

She looked out of the window and saw the moon was a crescent, the stars dancing around it, clouds drifting by lazily. Trees stood proudly against the sky, and the river flowed calmly. She smiled quietly, her eyes lifting into happiness.

"_Gaara-sama…" Kichigai blushed deeply, closing her eyes as Gaara hesitantly leaned down and kissed her neck. The full moon shined down on them, on his bare back that Kichigai's hand rested on. _

_A smile crept across her pale lips, feeling the tingling sensation from her pulse as he bit it gently. _

'_Gaara, not good enough," Shukaku growled in his head, making it ache relentlessly. _

"_Shut up, I'm not going to hurt her," he thought angrily. _

"_Gaara-sama?" she said softly, "what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing, Omae," he went back to biting her neck. _

"I miss you, Gaara-sama…" she muttered, "Do you miss me?" she pulled her knees to her chest, holding onto them with her good arm, smiling dreamily as she used her wounded arm to pick up the picture of him.

Zein went in to check on her the next morning, opening the door to her room. He watched her turn her head to look at him, a small smile spread across her pale, trembling lips, her eyes listless, and her hand clutching the picture of her lover. Her cheeks were flushed slightly; sweat dripping down her forehead slowly. Zein walked over, placing the back of his hand on her moist forehead, feeling it warm beneath his hand.

"Kichigai, can you hear me?"

She nodded slowly, blinking once, then twice, but didn't make an effort to move.

"Good, nothing too serious," he picked her up, bringing her to the infirmary, laying her down on the white sheeted bed. "Have you eaten or anything?"

"N-no…"

He took an IV, hooking Kichigai up to it. She winced slightly as the needle pierced her arm, but other than that, she remained smiling. Zein looked worried.

"Kichigai, is something bothering you?"

"No…"

"Oh come on, I'm not just a doctor, I can tell when something is bothering you, Kichigai."

"Nothing's bothering me at all."

Zein placed a hand on the top of her head. "You can tell me anything."

Kichigai's eyes softened, almost confused. She sighed quietly.

"I just…I miss Gaara-sama is all."

"You call him Gaara-sama?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because, it's complicated, that's why."

"How so?"

"It's a long story," her voice was raspy and quiet, but soft, full of broken faith.

"Well, we have time," Zein sat down in the computer chair.

"Fine, I suppose…" she looked away, staring at the wall, blinking slowly, "Though I'm not sure you'd understand all that well…"

"Try me."

"Ever since I was three…I had known him. I had no friends, nobody to confide in. I had seen him once before, but that was all, until I found out his uncle and my mother were friends. That's when I met him. I wasn't a very social child at all, but I almost knew I could tell him anything. I told him everything I knew about myself."

"All you knew about yourself? Wouldn't you know everything? It is you."

"I'm still not completely sure about myself, to be honest. But as our friendship grew, so too did the things I learned about myself. At five I could have told you many things about science, medicines, and mathematical sequences, but I could not tell you my hobbies, my likes, my dislikes. My only like that I knew about was Gaara-sama, the only dislike was the world, and the people who inhabit it. I'm rambling on, but to put it simply, he taught me more about myself than I could have ever learned not knowing him. He saved me from myself, and never let me doubt that I was actually real, that I wasn't a figment of someone's imagination."

"How could you not believe you were real flesh?" his eyebrow raised in question.

"Simple, I could not feel."

"You…couldn't feel?"

"See? You find it ridiculous. But I truly could not feel any emotion at all, at least until I met him. Like my heart was locked away and he opened up the chest it was inside and released pent up emotions. After our first encounter I went home that night and cried for the first time ever."

"I highly doubt you had never cried before."

"Of course you would. Many do, but I did. My mother even told me that I never cried. I would just lie there silently when I was a baby."

"Alright, so you met Gaara, and you cried? I would think you would be happy."

"That's the thing…" her voice trembled ever so slightly as a smile inched across her mouth, "I wasn't only sad, no, I was happy, confused, excited, angry, upset, many emotions coursed through me at once, so much so that I cried out of pure joy."

"Well, I think-" there was a knock at the door, and he got up to answer it.

"Have you seen Kichigai anywhere?"

"She's in here."

"What's wrong with her?"

Pein walked in to see Kichigai look over at him, a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead. Her eyes were red, almost swollen-looking. Her lips trembled as she smiled.

"Kichigai! What happened? Zein, what happened to my daughter?"

"You honestly wanna know what I think?"

"Yes," he glared slightly.

"Lovesickness."

"What?"

"I think it's lovesickness. You took her away from her love, and now she's sick from loneliness. Lovesickness."

"That's ridiculous."

"Not when you're in love it's not."

"Well, how in Kami's name do you cure it?"

"You give her back her love."

"He's all the way in Sunagakure."

"Well, bring her back there."

Kichigai felt the tiniest bit of hope as they talked, thinking that one day she could see Gaara again. She heard Pein sigh and turn to her.

"How about next week we visit Sunagakure?"

"Really…?" her voice broke.

"Yes, really."

Tears came to the corners of her eyes.

"_Gaara-sama…I get to see you again!" _


	10. Laughter and Despair

"Gaara-sama!" Kichigai called, standing at the door, knocking on it. Her family had chosen to stay home while she visited him.

The door creaked open and Gaara's sea foam green eyes widened in surprise.

"Gaara-sama…" her eyes widened as well, a grin spreading across her lips and she shoved past the doorframe, almost falling into it, jumping on him, her arms wrapping around his neck, her legs around his waist.

"Kichigai, what are you doing here?" he sounded surprised, almost shocked.

"I came to visit! I couldn't stay away from you, Gaara-sama!"

She heard a slight chuckle, then it got louder. Almost as if the laugh was in relief. Freedom from despair.

"Gaara-sama, I'm so happy to see you! Please hold me?" her voice was childish and lonely.

He wrapped his arms around her thin waist as she buried her face in his neck, kissing his jaw line, grinning ear-to-ear. Her long pianist's fingers entwined themselves with his wavy crimson locks, her hand clasped to his head.

Temari turned the corner into the living room, seeing Gaara clutching onto his darling like it would be the last time he would ever see her alive.

"Gaara?"

He looked up suddenly, then over at his sister. "What?"

"I thought you said Kichigai was leaving?" her voice trembled slightly, remembering how heartbroken Gaara had been once she left.

"_Gaara, it's time to eat, come out of your room."_

"_I'm not hungry…" he muttered through the door. _

_Temari tried, in vain, to open the door, but Gaara's back was pressed to it, keeping everyone out. _

"_Gaara, you have to eat something."_

"_I'm not hungry," he repeated, slightly annoyed. _

"_It's not good for you to stay in your room like this. What would Kichigai think, you locked up in your room pathetically? She wouldn't be proud."_

"_Well, she's not here, is she?" he yelled, clutching his head in pain, knowing his love wasn't here to take the pain away._

"She came back for a while," he turned to look at her, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Gaara? Are you…smiling?"

"Why?" he glared slightly.

"No reason. I've just never seen you look so happy."

"Well, I'm with my darling, why wouldn't I be happy?" he looked up at Kichigai, who was smiling, her hands gripping his shoulders.

Kankuro came up behind her with the video camera. "It's about time Gaara got outta his room. I gotta film thi-…when'd Kichigai get here?"

"She came to visit him."

"Of course I would, I love my Gaara-sama!"

"Did she just say she loved him?" Kankuro looked confused.

"Are they really in love? They're only twelve!" Temari muttered back.

Kankuro shrugged. "Who knows?"

Temari pulled him into the other room.

"Does that mean they're having sex, too?"

"Look, I'm as stumped as you are in this."

"Should…should we ask?"

"You know Gaara can easily lie about it."

"That's what I'm scared of."

"I'm sure they don't, Temari. You need to calm down. It's just a little teenage love."

"You're right, it probably won't last…" Temari sighed in relief. "Thank Kami for that."

"Yeah, can you imagine their kids? They'd probably blow up the village."

"Or go around slaughtering every person in sight!"

Kankuro and Temari laughed in false relief as Gaara and Kichigai held each other in the other room.


	11. Jinx

Temari opened the door a few moments after someone had knocked. A girl with white hair down to her shoulder blades, and red streaks, almost as tall as Temari, with glasses and a Lolita outfit, black knee-high boots and fishnet stockings, stood there.

"Hey, Temari-Onee-Chan…"

"Jinx? Jinx! It's been forever!"

"I know. I was busy in the realm of vampires for a while, so I couldn't visit. May I come in?"

"Of course!" Temari said with a smile, standing aside.

Jinx's voice was a natural high octave, like Kagamine Rin's, but softer and sweeter. Her eyes were light sea foam green, if you stared into them, they were almost transparent. She had milky white skin, as pale as Kichigai's that shone in the moonlight. At times, her hair was black, other times, she dyed it different colors. She was actually an immortal vampire alpha female, stern yet loving, and was actually hundreds of thousands of years old.

"Where's Kichigai? I checked her home, but her stepfather said she wasn't home."

"You know about that?"

"Temari, I'm her guardian, I know everything about her."

"Thank Kami you're keeping an eye on her."

"Of course, I couldn't lose her to save my life."

"Well, she's upstairs in Gaara's room."

"Ah, I remember they told each other they loved each other and then sealed it," she stood, and in one swift motion, rounded the corner to the stairs, walking up in an elegant manner, her long legs shining in the pale light.

"Wait…Wait! Sealed it? Sealed it how? Jinx!" Temari reached out for her. "Ah, forget it."

Jinx knocked on the door, then opened it, not giving them a chance to respond.

Gaara sat up, his shirt discarded at the foot of the bed, only in his boxers. Kichigai was in one of his tee-shirts, which hung off her large chest, no bra, and black and white striped panties. Her hair was flat-she had straight ironed it.

"Well, did you two have fun?" her voice went down two octaves, smirking at them.

"Jinx, what are you doing here?" Kichigai asked, getting off of his lap and turning to face her long-lost friend.

"Came to check in. I never see you anymore Onee-chama."

"I'll say. And you choose the _worst_ times to pop in for a visit, y'know?"

"Yes I do know, thank you, I just wanna make sure my Onee-chama doesn't end up pregnant."

"I haven't even gotten my menstrual yet."

"That's good, considering you guys go at it like _rabbits_ _**without **__**condoms**__**!"**_

"Will you shut up?" she glared at her, then she straddled Gaara's lap, leaning down to kiss his jaw line.

"I'm just saying, you'll pay for it in the morning."

"So how's Sasuke?" she smirked.

"He's fine, why?" she yelled back, her cheeks going red, a stark contrast against her moon-pale skin.

Kichigai's cheeks were flushed most of the time, considering the amount of time her and Gaara spent together. They actually had started to get color.

"You know your birthday is coming up next week, Kichigai," Jinx said apologetically, her hands holding her elbows in a cross formation. "Do you want anything in particular?"

"Something I can't have until I'm older, but other than that, no."

"What is it, Omae? I'll get it for you, anything?"

"It's…kinda embarrassing."

"Tell me," he slipped his hands to her sides, threatening to tickle her.

"Alright, alright…one day…" her cheeks turn a deep crimson, her eyes shining slightly. "I want to have a child with you, Gaara-sama…"

She hid her hands in her face childishly and shyly, giggling quietly. She felt her hands being pulled away from her face, to see Gaara looking up at her, smiling. She read his eyes.

"Really? Do you mean it?"

"I mean it, Omae."

Tears dripped out of the corners of her eyes as she hunched over onto his chest, crying out of pure joy.

"A-all I want for my birthday, Ga-ara-sama, is for you to love me! That's all I've ever wanted!"

"I'll love you forever, my darling."

Jinx stood there awkwardly. She cleared her throat, Kichigai bolting upright and turning to look at her, wiping away some of her tears. "S-Sorry…" she muttered.

"It's okay, really, you guys are in love, I understand."

Kichigai took a deep breath, her pale dusty rose lips forming the words, "I love you, Gaara-sama…"

"I love you forever, Omae," he pulled her to lay down on his chest.

Kichigai sat up. "Gaara-sama, we have company…" she giggled, turning back to Jinx.

"Come on, Imoutou-chan, sit down with us."

Jinx bashfully made her way over to the bed, sitting down on the opposite side from them.

"Holy Kami, this bed is comfortable!"

"It's a memory foam mattress. I just got him this comforter…" she buried her face in the soft, sand-colored blanket, inhaling. "I washed it in lavender and magnolia, so it smells really good too."

"Oh, really, cause it smells like sweat and you two, AND magnolias and lavender," they all laughed quietly. "Seriously, though, do you ever get tired?"

"Maybe after three times in a night? I can't remember, my mind goes blank after I fall asleep…"


	12. Depart

Kichigai stood under the ice-cold water, waiting for her Tono to come in. That day, she had felt a little off, her abdomen had been hurting, and she had been feeling faint and dizzy. She even snapped at Gaara when he was tickling her. Suddenly, something warm dripped down her leg, her abdomen cramping badly.

"Owww…." She gripped her stomach, looking down at the shower floor, blood staining the white tile.

Her eyes widened. _Had her wounds reopened?_

"_No," _she thought, _"The razor marks are too thin, he won't notice them, they didn't even bleed that much this time…"_she felt her abdomen cramp up again and she let out a cry of pain. Her abdomen was still sensitive from the first time. It had only been two weeks.

Gaara rushed into the bathroom, seeing Kichigai doubled over in pain.

"Omae, what's wrong, are you okay?"

"Yea-ah…I'm fi-fine…" she gave a little laugh, "it hurts though."

"Kichigai, you're bleeding."

"Yeah, I know…I must've started my menstrual…" she winced thinking about it. "Wait…does this mean we can't have sex anymore, Gaara-sama?"

"Not without condoms we can't."

"I think there are some in Daddy's drawer at home…I'll see the next time I go over."

"Or…" he elongated the r, whispering something into her ear.

"Gaara-sama, aren't I a little young?" she wondered.

"So what? You said you wanted to build a family…"

"But I think that's a little young. I'm only going to be thirteen."

"Well, if we play our cards right, you'll be fourteen when you have it."

"Gaara-sama, I really do appreciate it, from the bottom of my heart, but I don't think I'm ready…how about sixteen?"

"But, you know, the 'Coming of Age' in Sunagakure is fourteen, for males, fifteen."

"It is?" her eyes lit up. "Really? Alright then, fourteen it is…but not a day sooner."

"Fine with me," he whispered, kissing the shell of her ear.

"Gaara-sama, thank you…" she murmured, turning and kissing him on the cheek.

"Just think about it, we'll get married, have at least two children, and we'll live secluded away from the world."

"It'll be a beautiful house, large, near an oasis…"

"Anything for you, Omae."

"Together forever…nothing is going to stop us, is it, Gaara-sama? No more ridicule, hateful stares…it's beautiful, it's as if Kami destined this wonderful fate just for us."

"Compensation for messed-up childhoods, eh?"

"Basically. Kami-sama always makes amends."

"Yes, he already did, sending you to me, my Tenshi."

"Tenshi…Tenshi, I like that name…if our first born is a daughter, let's name her Tenshi…"

"Anything for you, Omae…"

A while later they got out of the shower. Kichigai wrapped a towel around herself, finding it was slightly too small for her breasts, so a slit formed up the side, revealing her hip and leg. Gaara came out of the bathroom and saw Kichigai in the black towel, smirking slightly. "You look beautiful, Omae."

"Thank you, Gaara-sama…"

Temari called upstairs, "Kichigai, your father is here!"

"What? No, nonono, no! He can't be here! I was hoping he forgot about me! Please don't let him-" Gaara kissed her to make her stop.

"Stop panicking, Omae. We'll see each other soon."

"How do you know?"

"I'm going on a mission to Konohagakure. The Land of Rivers is on the way."

"Gaara-sama…" she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his jawline, then getting dressed in black shorts and a navy blue off the shoulder shirt with a geisha graphic on it.

Gaara pulled her hair up into a bun, kissing her neck, then handing her the bag she came with, muttering, "I love you. Don't forget, you promised me when you were fourteen."

"I promise I'll always remember."

They kissed, then parted.

Kichigai walked downstairs to see Pein waiting for her, a smile playing across his lips. She scowled slightly at the sight, but put on a fake smile.

"Did you have fun?" he put a hand on her shoulder as they left.

"Yes, sir…" she said remorsefully, then felt a twinge of gratitude. "Thank you for letting me stay there…"

"You're welcome, my little Ohime-sama."


	13. Blissfully Wounded

The day of Kichigai's birthday came and passed, so too did the month. Her condition had been growing worse, missing her love so much. Jinx would come and visit frequently, but it wasn't enough to keep her happy. Her sleeping patterns changed frequently, even with the medication Zein gave her. She would sometimes sleep for fourteen hours at a time, sometimes none at all. She stopped eating, her eyes becoming dull, even with her Hikarigan activated. She lost interest in music and art, not even stopping to look at the harp her father got her. She sighed often, almost never coming out of her room. Her hair began to fall out after a while. She would wake up to find multiple strands of hair discarded onto her pillow, if she had slept at all that night, or had just had a waking nightmare. She cut herself deep and often, but where nobody could see. Jinx had to put a stop to it.

Mekura and Jinx opened the door to Kichigai's room one night when she came to visit, seeing her lying on the bed, her sheets stained with a pale crimson. A small smile spread across her lips.

"Hey, Mekura? Isn't death beautiful?" she said simply, but her voice was filled with dreaming.

"Kichigai!" Mekura ran into the room, her strong nose catching the scent of dried blood, stumbling and falling, feeling her way on the floor.

"Mekura, don't act rash! We don't need someone else injured," Jinx helped Mekura up, then walked over to Kichigai, hitting her on the head.

"Oww…aha…haha…" she giggled in a masochistic way, enjoying the pain of her migraine, acquired from the screaming echoing in her ears.

"What in the WORLD did you think you were doing, you idiot Onee-chan?"

"I…" she stopped, thinking it over, her foot bleeding slowly from the razor cuts, then, she smiled, "I have no need to explain it…death is beautiful…"

"Ugh! I can't believe you would do this!" she helped her sit up, blood coming out of her mouth, then she picked her up bridal style. "We have to get you to Zein."

"Ow!" she cried out, tearing up, grinding her teeth in pain. "Gaara-sama…"

"He's actually coming tonight, you idiot!" Jinx groaned, "What would he have thought if he found you dead?"

"He would've found someone else…someone more suited than me."

"I don't wanna hear that bull, Kichigai," she laid her down.,

"Wh-what are you doing? Jinx-Imoutou-chan?"

Jinx looked her over. "Where else are you bleeding?"

"No-nowhere, I swear."

"Uh-huh, yeah, right," she hooked her fingers into the waistband of Kichigai's pants, pulling them off, leaving her in her black panties and black tank top. Blood dripped down the razor marks on the inside of her legs. "That's what I thought."

Mekura didn't have Inume with her, so she just stood and listened, tucking her violet-black hair behind her ear. Jinx tried to help Kichigai stand up, but the wound reopened, blood pooling around her foot. She quickly sat her down in the chair.

"Shimeta…" Jinx looked down at Kichigai's trembling body, pale from blood loss. "Mekura? Can you get me a first-aid kit? Activate your Hikarigan."

"Yes, Ma'am," Mekura activated it, then looked around the room, taking in the sights. Then, she saw Kichigai, then ran to get the kit.

"Alright, Kichigai, can you hear me?"

Kichigai made no response, not even moving. She just stared straight ahead, eyes dead and unmoving.

"Darn it, Kichigai, don't die on me!" Jinx gripped the top of her head, holding her hair to look at her. Hair came out in Jinx's hand. "Have you been eating? Well?"

"Uhh….uh-uh….no…" she smiled, "I need to be pretty for Gaara-sama…"

"How much do you weigh?"

"Seventy-….seven…"

"Holy Kami-…Seventy-seven? Really?"

Kichigai nodded, smiling slightly, "_It's about time I looked pretty…"_

Jinx raised an eyebrow. "Kichi, how did your voice get like that? It changed…"

"_Hehehe…haha…ha! Ignorant girl…" _

"I'm a what?'

"_You heard me, __**Jinx," **_she lathered on the hate in that one word. _"YOU'RE the one keeping me suppressed all the time. If it weren't for you and 'Gaara-sama', I woulda been out of this body by now. She woulda offed herself!" _

"It's her demon again, Sunanotanuki," Mekura came back with the first-aid kit, which was slightly more advanced than most.

"Well, how do we suppress her?"

"_You can't now," _she said in a sing-song voice, _"Gaara's not here. Unfortunatly! His demon, Shukaku…oh, how I love him…why do you think we made Gaara and Kichigai do that at twelve?...hehe…oh, young love. But you wouldn't know about that, would you, Jinx? Oh, how you long for Sasuke, am I correct? But I guess you'll never have him…"_

Mekura bit her thumb, drawing a seal on her neck, then placing her hand on it, muttering something.

"_You can't keep me suppressed forever-"_

"There…" Mekura muttered.

"Hey, Pein said Kichigai was up here, where is she?"

Jinx turned around to see Gaara standing there, looking confused.

"Now of all the times?" Jinx sighed.

"Where is she?" Gaara asked.

Jinx and Mekura moved to the side so he could see Kichigai. She turned her head to look at him, then smiled slightly.

"Gaara-sama…" she said slowly, weakly.

Jinx snapped to attention. "Mekura, the first aid kit."

"Right," she opened it, taking out bandages and tape, placing it over the razor marks on her heel, taping it into place, cutting off the end.

Then, she took a rag and dabbed it with rubbing alcohol, spreading Kichigai's legs a bit, then dabbing it onto the wounds. Kichigai cried out in pain, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Hold still, Kichigai, I have to disinfect them," she pulled it away then replaced it with bandages, taping them with surgical tape. "There…"

Kichigai was panting slightly, biting her lip in pain. She looked over at Gaara, eyes slightly more alive. She moved to stand up, but Jinx pushed her back down, tying her wrists to the arms of the chair, her ankles to the legs, with rope she had gotten from the closet.

"Wha-what are you doing?" she cried out, jerking back and forth, trying to escape confinement.

"This is so you won't get up."

"Plea..please let me go…"

"No. You'll just get up and your wounds'll reopen."

Kichigai began to breathe heavily, almost hyperventilating. Jinx took a bottle of liquid and a syringe, sticking the needle into the top and pulling back on the plunger, watching the syringe fill up.


End file.
